People often ask me why I chose the name James. There’s no big story behind it; I had a list of names I liked, I took that list of names with me to the mirror and spoke them all out loud to my reflection. James stuck. It probably wasn’t the most practical choice, since I have a cousin named James who was born on the same day as me (just a year later). But it’s the name that felt right. I liked my old name too. Kelly is generally considered unisex, leaning towards feminine. I think it’s Irish for warrior or possibly strife. But I never identified with that name. So I had to change it.
The process of getting my name legally changed was definitely more tedious than it was difficult. My first move was to call up my local prothonotary and ask what I would need.
I got the paperwork to file my petition from the Court Administrator and got a friend, who had been though the process, to help me figure out what to do with it. The next step was something I procrastinated on out of fear – going to the state police to get my fingerprints.
Though usually my worries are much worse than is warranted, I’d say in this case my anxiety was justified for once. The state troopers there were kind of rude, and when the one asked what I was changing my name to, she gave me a strange look after I answered. Her expression looked like “OMG you’re one of those.” She asked me why I was “doing this”, which I assume meant transitioning. I explained and she didn’t really do anything besides nod, so I was incredibly uncomfortable. There was small talk about the fingerprinting process, but it was all very awkward. The situation was made worse by the fact that the fingerprint machine was giving her trouble so I was stuck there longer than I expected. But I got them! And it was St. Patrick’s Day, so I celebrated that night.
I waited two or three more months because I wanted my mom to go down to the courthouse with me for the next step and was waiting for her to have a day off of work. I suppose that was kind of silly, but I wanted her to be a part of it. Anyway, with my petition filled out and my fingerprint card finished, I took that and my $105.50 filing fee to the prothonotary, who kept it to have a judge sign it. I was instructed to wait for a call and then come back to the prothonotary for the petition forms so I could take them to the Court Administrator to get my hearing date.
I got the call the next day telling me that I could come get the papers, but I wasn’t able to get down to the courthouse until about 5 days later. My dad (who was never supportive of my transition or the name change, but has always been willing to drive me where I needed to go for transition-related things) took me to the courthouse. He mostly just followed me around the building while I got the papers from the prothonotary and took them to the Court Administrator. She told me my court date was set for 9:15 a.m. on August 28th, courtroom #1. The courthouse opens at 9 in the morning so basically I would be one of the first people being heard. My mom said that was a good thing, but being a night owl I was dreading the early hour.
So it was a two month wait. I was excited and told all my close friends. Most of them wanted to come to support me, but I didn’t want a big crowd there. It might seem disrespectful. About two or three weeks before the hearing, I went to a Pride Picnic at my local amusement park. I painted my nails rainbow, wore my rainbow-checkered glasses and went there with some friends. It was really hot out but I got a free rainbow peace sign necklace and a sticker from EqualityPA. The president of EqualityPA, Adrian Shanker was there and I got to talk to him about voter registration. He advised me to get my ID changed ASAP after my hearing date so I could register to vote in time for the presidential election. He supports the sitting president, it seems.
So I was in a good mood for a while, but then I got a horrible email forwarded to me from my dad. It was some crazy conservative organization I guess, called the Public Advocate for the US. It went on about how the LGBT community got DADT repealed and now they are pushing for transsexuals to have the right to join the military without the threat of being discharged for it. How dare we want to serve our country, right? I was appalled, of course, but by the time I got to “these sick individuals” and “our soldiers deserve better”, it really felt like a punch in the gut. It was worse because my own dad forwarded this trash to me. I know he doesn’t agree with me transitioning, but I can’t understand why he would want me to see these horrid things written about people like me.
I was already getting nervous about the court hearing approaching, but that email two days before it put me in a bad emotional state.
One of my best friends stopped by to wish me luck before I left for the hearing. It ended up being just me, my mom, and my little sister there. My mom just had surgery a week before and I had been nervous that I would be going without her, but thank God she was walking around fine on her own by the day of the hearing.
We got there early, I was dressed handsomely in a suit and tie, and once I was in the courtroom all my nerves faded. It was a nice room but not quite like the grand court rooms you see on TV. I looked up and noticed some balloons stuck on the large light on the ceiling. Perhaps someone had been partying in the courtroom? It looked like the balloon had an organization’s name on it but I couldn’t make it out. Maybe the party had been a benefit for an organization.
The judge was about a half hour late. My mom knew the bailiff (his daughter had been friends with my late brother), so we chatted with him while we waited. Like most people, he was stunned that I’m 20. He thought I was 16, which is older than people usually guess so that was a plus. It was all lighthearted and easy-going until the buzzer signaling the judge sounded. We all quieted, the bailiff said “all rise”, we stood until the judge told us we could be seated.
The room was uncomfortably silent as the judge shuffled through his papers. I watched him for a moment, and it struck me that he was reading about me being transgender. I felt slightly panicked, wondering if he thought I was sick – the term used to describe transsexuals in the email my dad forwarded me. He finally spoke, going over court jargon for the records as the stenographer recorded what he was saying. He read off my petition and I was a little embarrassed when he reached the part about my reasoning. I had put down that I wished to change my name because I wanted a name that reflects my identity and gender and explained that most people in my life already referred to me as James. He read that part out loud too, and I couldn’t bring myself to look at anyone. It was strange, because I am not ashamed of what I am doing or being transgender. But it is a little unsettling to have your biggest discomfort spoken about in a big institutional setting.
He asked me if it was all true; a formality. I responded with “yes, your honor.”
I also had a letter from my therapist supporting me in this matter, so I brought that out at this point. He read that out loud as well and it was submitted for evidence. Much of the hearing was exactly as I expected it would be; just a formality. I had no reason to worry that he might not grant my name change. When he finally issued the decree and thumped the gavel, I wanted to jump for joy but instead I sat silently, grinning from ear to ear. The bailiff gave my mom a wink and a thumbs up. The judge offered me a “good luck” and I thanked him. On the way out, the bailiff shook my hand and congratulated me.
It went much better than I ever imagined. My mom took me and my sister shopping afterward so I had an amazing day with some of my favorite people. When I got home, I signed for a delivery for the first time under my new legal name.
And so ends my tale of my experiences in changing my name in the Northumberland County of Pennsylvania. The next step is to get my therapist to sign a form for the Pennsylvania Department of Transportation (PennDOT). That way I can get my gender marker changed on my State ID when I go to get a new one, since I need one with my new legal name on it anyway. I’ll also have to change my social security card, bank card, insurance, medical forms, possibly my birth certificate, etc. I got the 5 official decrees of name change that I requested free of charge, so I’m all set for that.
I imagine the gender-change form that I need to take to PennDOT will prompt an awkward situation. The people at my local PennDOT are really uptight and act like you’re bothering them the second you walk in the door… except the guy who took my picture. I remember him as a pretty nice guy. I look forward to the social catastrophe.
After all my identification forms are taken care of, I can start putting my name in for jobs. Time to start saving for my surgery, which is at the top of my priority list.
For the most part, I’m doing pretty well these days. Now that there’s no court date looming over me, I feel good. I’m working on a fantasy novel and just taking pleasure in writing the story for me and for my friends and family who are reading and enjoying it.
Thanks for reading! Getting a legal name change is a step many transgender people take in their transition, and I’m glad to report that mine went pretty well.
~ James
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