30 Day Challenge for Transpeople – Day 30

30) Write a haiku about being trans.

Umm no. Instead I will point you in the direction of Joel Derfner. I saw Joel Derfner at an LGBTQ conference in Bloomsburg, PA and he was hilarious. He was promoting his book “Swish: My Quest to Become the Gayest Person Ever and What Ended Up Happening Instead”. He also wrote “Gay Haiku”, and here are some examples from the book (which can be found on this page of JoelDerfner.com ).

 

“I have a boyfriend.”

We’ve been talking three hours.

You are a bastard.

 

See the gay man in

His natural habitat:

Bed Bath & Beyond.

 

Frantically hiding

Porno and Mapplethorpe prints—

Mom is on her way.

30 Day Challenge for Transpeople – Day 29

29) Write out something positive about yourself using the letters of your name.

Jaunty

Adaptable

Maverick

Enthusiastic

Spontaneous

30 Day Challenge for Transpeople – Day 28

28) What is something you have to do everyday or else you feel like your whole day is off if you don’t do it?

I have to eat, sleep, and shower everyday. Those are the only things that will actually throw me off if I don’t do them. I also like to try to get things done. I wake up with a whole list of things to do, and I’ll be lucky if I end up completing one of them. So I do feel a little off if I end the day knowing I didn’t get enough done. Some of those things on my list are doing chores, school work, and exercising. I’ve been pretty good about exercising these last few days, but I haven’t been getting chores done, and I’d like to have more of my school work done too.

I guess I could also add writing to that list. I enjoy writing more than any other activity and I like to write every day. Some other things that I like to do everyday would be talking to friends and family, using the internet, texting, praying, and spending time with my two cats.

30 Day Challenge for Transpeople – Day 27

27) What goals do you have?

Some of my most important goals are transition-related and most of them aren’t. I’ll tell you ten of my goals, not including my two most immediate ones, which are graduating from college and getting my driver’s license.

1. get top surgery

2. get a hysterectomy

3. legally change my name

4. change all of my documents to reflect my preferred name and gender

5. learn at least one other language

6. travel (maybe New Zealand, Ireland, Scotland, or Spain)

7. write a screenplay

8. make a movie

9. have a job that I am successful at and enjoy

10. be as involved as I can in helping others (especially in the LGBT community)

30 Day Challenge for Transpeople – Day 26

26) Do you feel comfortable answering questions about being trans if say a teacher/friend/stranger asked you?

As long as they are asked respectfully, I don’t mind questions. I haven’t had a lot of teachers ask me question aside from the LGBT Club advisor at the community college I go to. And she is very respectful. She asked me to be a guest speaker at her human sexuality class this semester so I imagine I will be answering a lot of questions when I do that. Wish me luck.

I’ve had lots of friends ask me questions. The first question I usually get is “So do you like guys or girls?” And I don’t feel comfortable answering that because I haven’t quite worked that out for myself yet. Either I’m asexual or I haven’t met the right person yet because I’m not really strongly attracted to anyone further than “Hey that person looks awesome. I want to get to know them better.” And also its uncomfortable because I don’t know why THEY need to know. I understand curiosity but why is that the very first question they ask?

I have had strangers ask me questions. Usually friends of friends that I was just introduced to as “James, the transgender”. Sometimes the questions are really disrespectful and they only ask to be assholes. In that case I am uncomfortable and offended. But sometimes they ask genuine questions and are respectful for the most part, and then I don’t mind that even if it is a little uncomfortable. The most interesting questions from strangers are when the person is like super curious and fascinated. My friend introduced me to someone once and I spent about an hour just fielding questions from her. She wanted to know how I knew I was trans, if I like girls or guys, if I masturbate, what kind of surgeries I want, about the effects of testosterone. Everything. And it was a bit uncomfortable, but she was just one of those extremely bold people so it was funny too.

30 Day Challenge for Transpeople – Day 25

25) Doctor visits

Well I have my regular doctor visits at my family doctor. Those aren’t bad because he’s a cool guy and he knows that I’m trans. He doesn’t call me by my preferred pronouns or name, but at least I don’t have to worry about being discriminated against, which would be really inconvenient at a hospital. I just had an appointment yesterday at the same hospital with a doctor I never met before. She didn’t know I was trans when she came in until I told her I am on testosterone and that I prefer to be called James. She asked me if I wanted to be called ‘he’ or ‘she’, and she was totally accepting of it. She didn’t seem to have a problem at all. And she used my preferred name and pronoun the whole time. My mom and I were pleasantly surprised.

I see my other doctor about 4 hours away in Philadelphia’s Mazzoni Center, an LGBT clinic. She is the one who prescribes my testosterone and she is fantastic. I adore the Mazzoni Center. Everyone there is so kind and respectful and friendly. Only one person there ever messed up on my pronouns and name; she worked at the front desk and I suspect she may have been a new. I can’t express how much I love the place. I love going there, getting to chat with the friendly nurse, and seeing my doctor who really cares about my health and my transition. I also love that the appointments are free to adolescents (under 24).I’ve been there a few times. At the first appointment I filled out new patient forms, got blood work done, and spoke to Nancy Brisbon, my doctor, about the effects of testosterone. At the next appointment I spoke to the social worker who verified that my decision to take testosterone was a realistic choice. I really loved seeing that social worker too. She was so laid back and easy to talk to. At the third appointment, Dr. Brisbon and I went over my blood test results and she faxed my testosterone prescription to Stroheckers in Oregon. They mailed the testosterone to my home and then I brought them with me to my fourth appointment at the Mazzoni Center on August 5, 2010. That’s when I got my first shot of testosterone that the lab technician there helped me with. I had another appointment two months later so they could take more blood and monitor my progress. My next appointment at the Mazzoni Center is in April so they can continue to monitor my progress and probably do another blood test. I hate the long drive to Philly and the parking in the city, but I love seeing my doctor and everyone at the Mazzoni Center. It’s such an important place, being the only LGBT-specific healthcare provider in their area. They also have been supporting the annual Philadelphia Trans-Health Conference, which is free, since it started in 2002. In 2006, the Conference officially became a Mazzoni Center program. So I really love and appreciate what they do for the LGBTQ community.

30 Day Challenge for Transpeople – Day 24

24) Who is your favorite LGBT actor/musician/director/artist etc and why?

I don’t know of many so I wouldn’t say I have a favorite. But I recently heard of Ian Harvie, who is a comedian and a transgender guy. I like people that can make me laugh and people I can relate to. His jokes are hilarious and are totally relateable for transgender guys.

This is one of my favorite videos on Youtube that feature him, though some commentors are upset over some terms that were used in it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mo7fSA4kJqY

I’ve heard of Calpernia Addams but I’m not too familiar with her work. I’ve seen one video of her and thought it was really good. I also like Lucas Silveira (musician), Chaz Bono (writer), and Jeffrey Jay (comedian). Actually Jeffrey Jay’s video is even funnier than the last one I posted:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dshk2Df2ihQ

I’d love to learn about more transgender artists though, so maybe I’ll do some research. And if you know of some good ones, please leave a comment about them. :-]

30 Day Challenge for Transpeople – Day 23

23) What stereotypes are put on trans people?

Well there are stereotypes put on transgender people by non-trans people. And then there are the stereotypes put on us by fellow transpeople.

Some stereotypes I’ve noticed from cisgender people is that they think we’re just confused. Some think we’re freaks. Another one is that we’re straight. For some reason the idea of a transguy liking other guys confuses some cisgender people. “What’s the point of becoming a guy if you’re just going to be gay?” is one I’ve heard. When I was younger, I thought all transsexuals were male-to-female prostitutes, so that could be one.

I read a popular blog once that mentioned how transpeople put stereotypes on other transpeople and on themselves. There are trans people who think that you’re not really confirming your gender-identity unless you abide by traditional gender roles. They think transwomen should be feminine and transguys should be manly. And then there is the other side, and they think we should defy traditional gender roles as much as possible. They think those who express their gender with traditional appearance and behavior is harmful to our community in some way.

But really, we shouldn’t be dictating anyone’s gender-identity or expression. No one should be policing gender. A traditional expression of one’s gender is just as acceptable as androgynous and less-traditional expressions.

30 Day Challenge for Transpeople – Day 22

22) Do you feel being trans holds you back from your career choice?

I actually wanted to get into law enforcement for a long time. Depending on what department I applied for, being trans might be a problem. For example, in my own city there aren’t even any female police officers and it’s a conservative area so I might have a problem getting in on that police force. Not that I want to stick around this place any longer than I have to.

But I’m not as interested in law enforcement as a career now, even though I’m about to get my degree in Criminal Justice. I love studying it, but I just don’t feel like my heart is in it anymore and I don’t think it’s the right career for me. It’s too late to change my major now though. I’ll be done at my community college in May or June and I’ll have an associates degree in Criminal Justice.

What I’ve always been interested in more than anything is art. I love photography, and writing, and film. I never thought art was a viable option for me. It doesn’t pay a lot if you’re not famous. I even took a career aptitude test at college and it said I was more geared towards the arts than anything (funny enough, that was the result for a lot of the Criminal Justice majors). So one day I was sitting at home and thinking… I’ve always wanted to be a boy and I’m finally doing it. I’m being myself and transitioning, even though it’s a hard path. If I can do that, why can’t I be a writer, or a filmmaker, or a photographer? It’s not something you have to be born into (which, for some odd reason, was something I always thought of artists when I was younger). So now I might try to get into that field. My community college doesn’t have any art-related classes besides art/music appreciation, but maybe I can try another school or something. Since I’ll have a degree in Criminal Justice, maybe I’ll work as a security guard on the side if I can so I’ll have some money. I don’t think being trans will effect any of that as long as I can do the job right.

30 Day Challenge for Transpeople – Day 21

21) What are your views on the cis-gendered community?

Um… I’m not exactly sure what to say about this. I don’t really think of cisgender people as a “community”. They don’t have any common goals or any marked characteristics. What do I think of people that are not transgender? They’re all different, just like trans people are different. I have friends who are trans and genderqueer, but most of my friends are cisgender. Most of my cisgender friends are supportive of me and my transition. Some aren’t. I guess one thing that might be worth mentioning is that one thing I’ve noticed is that a lot of cisgender people don’t understand transsexuals and their cross-gender feelings. Though a lot of them understand it right away. But I have had people ask me questions like “Why do you want to be a guy?” and “Have you tried just being a girl?” And it doesn’t really upset me to get questions like this. They just don’t understand that being transgender doesn’t spawn from a desire to be the opposite sex. The fact is that our gender-identity just does not match the sex we were born as. The brain doesn’t match the body, basically. It’s something that occurs within us, and we can’t control or change it. And it’s something many cis people don’t get because it can be difficult to understand things that we never experienced ourselves. Their gender-identity does match with the sex they were born as. Similarly, sometimes my cisgender friends express things that I don’t understand.

But cisgender or transgender, we are all people and we can relate to eachother. I don’t think gender is as important as the ability to respect and care about eachother.